Monday, November 9, 2009

More Than Enough

Life can be a combination of a rollercoaster, merry-go-round, and jungle gym all combined. I don't know how many times in the past few weeks that I have really questioned why I'm even here. I know that God will never allow things to become too burdensome that you can't handle it. However, I feel that lately I've been pushed to the brink and have been nudged even farther. I'm really struggling with this one. Everytime I think that things are starting to completely straighten out, something comes along to tangle it all back up again. Divorce, layoffs, broken bones, sickness and then the latest situation (I'm not comfortable just sharing this one) - I'm just like "God...why?". But I have to say that he did answer a prayer in this latest situation so Praise God for that!

Music has always been my outlet for anything. Anger, happiness, sorrow, etc. I think God speaks to me through songs that just "happen" to be playing. It just amazes me to know that God can send just what you need.
For instance this morning I was listening along (feeling sorry for myself too :-) ) and along came a song that our choir used to sing...More Than Enough (lyrics) by The Brooklyn Tablernacle Choir.

"...Jehovah Jireh, my provider, You're more than enough for me...Jehovah Shamma, You are with me and You supply all of my needs."

God you are my provider and will supply all my needs. Thank you for your presence and for who you are. You ARE More Than Enough for me.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Steady As She Goes

Well it will be six weeks come Tuesday. I'm going in to the doctor's to see how everything is progressing. I will be in my cast and on crutches until the beginning of December. As of right now, I'm trying to get movement back into my foot by moving it in circles and overall just trying to flex the muscles back into moving.

I would have to say that this accident has quite possibly been a life changing experience. Before I absolutely hated getting up and exercising unless it was horseback riding or swimming or something like that. Now that I've had restricted movement, I'm ready to just...move. I have no doubt that when I'm able to return to full movement that I won't be able to stop. :-)

But seriously, you really don't know what you are missing when you loose the use of your leg. You have to have help getting a glass of water. You can't really take a bath on your own, much less a shower. But the thing you really have to watch out for are the mats in restuarants. If you step on them wrong, your feet are out from underneath you. Puddles are another one.

Anywho, for the most part, it doesn't hurt...only swells. It's just there. I'm not as frusterated with it as I was before. Don't get me wrong, I have moments but for the most part I've accepted that this will be this way until December at least.

I'm trying to incorporate things back into my life gradually at times and rapidly other times. I've returned to driving after my hiatus, now sleep in my own bed (I had stairs that I had to conquer) and can for the most part dress myself (do you know how hard it is to get pants over a cast?). Mom gets frusterated with me at times because I'm always trying to do for myself more and more. I don't think that she understands that it's not that I don't/won't depend on her; it's just that I'm get back to where I was. I'm not a martyr, just someone who wants her independance back.

Thank you service men & women!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Down and Out

Okay, so it's been a while since I've posted on my blog. Here's the skinny. I had planned to take a vacation at the end of July. Well that Monday was a blast. My mom, my nephew John Michael and myself all went to the lake and had a great day together. Now during the rest of the week it was supposed to rain so I had to get in swimming and horseback riding at least. Well as Tuesday came upon me I decided that I would go horseback riding. I had to take a saddle over to my uncle's anyway.

As I was mounting my horse she jumped. I don't really know why but she did. So naturally I tried to hang on. However, I guess my spur gouged into her flank which started a round of bronc riding in my uncle's side yard. The end result...I'm left with a broken ankle. At least that was what I thought.

We get to the hospital and believe it or not I get to go right back. They take x-rays of both my left ankle/foot and left wrist. Good thing that I had my lace up ropers on. They wanted to cut my boot off. I pretty much said not on your life....and the same thing with the jeans. A doctor finally comes in and has to reset my ankle which takes not once but twice to do. I have to tell you that is the most painful thing I have ever felt.

Anywho, I had to have surgery the next day. What the doctor told me and my family was that I had broken three bones in my ankle, cracked mutiple bones in my foot, messed up the cartiledge as well as the tendons and ligaments in my ankle and foot. (Which I might add that I had torn the tendons and ligaments in the same foot 4-5 years ago.) Last but not least I had sprained my ankle. A sprained ankle, that was the least of my worries. Now I have a steel plate on the left side of my ankle with screws holding my ankle together. I also have a pin through my ankle joint to help get that back to par.

Needless to say, I won't be walking for 3-4 months and won't be riding until next spring. I did get that one day of vacation in though. (See always a silver lining.) :)

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Food For Thought

In celebration of my attempts at learning to cook (Lord Jesus help me), I've included a "Recipe of the Week" on the right side of the blog. Feel free to try them and let me know how it turned out or if you have any variation on the recipe that made it better let me know. Happy Cooking!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

A Piece of Humble Pie

I have to admit something. Even though I’m a self-proclaimed country girl...I can’t stand the thought of touching those beady-eyed creatures called shrimp barehanded. Let me back up. My sister and brother-in-law just got back from vacationing in North Carolina for their one year anniversary. Frank has an uncle who owns a shrimp boat. So we ordered fresh from the coast shrimp. I love to eat some (not all) seafood. However, I’ve always bought them already “prepared” (for a lack of a better word) and ready to go.

Last night I had the misfortune...ahem...opportunity to de-head about 10 lbs of shrimp...for the first time might I add. I didn’t actually mind doing this. However, I flat refused to touch them until I had a pair of rubber gloves on. I tried to tell myself it was because I didn’t want to slice my fingers on the sharp “razors” on their heads. It was true but not the most accurate path my mind was taking. I just didn’t want to touch those ugly lookin’ things...especially when you kinda feel like they are looking at you. Anywho, two hours later it's done and we now have 8 lbs of shrimp stored in the deep freeze for later. Yum!

This process has made me realize that everyone everywhere has preconceived notions about one thing or another. Just as I thought that I wasn't a hardcore country girl because I just couldn't pick them up and take care of the nasty business. :) Stereotyping is what it's boiled down to.

I've noticed in myself, at one time or another, jump to conclussions about people. If they have a new car, they must have some serious money. However, that is not the case nine times out of ten. I may not have a brand new vehicle but I owe less then what I make in a month on the loan. I have a roof over my head, food in the pantry, a dysfunctional but loving and caring family, and pets that no matter how much I yell at them love me unconditionally. Man, I am blessed!

Monday, July 6, 2009

The Beginning

To me a relentless apprenticeship is the constant state of learning, whether that is about new books, music or God himself. I don't feel like I'm some kind of theologian or anything. I just feel that life is always in the constant state of change. If you don't change with it you’re left behind. Change can be scary but think of it this way: you’re just passing from one stage to another. Look at change not as a long mandatory trip that drags you kicking and screaming down life’s path. Look at it as a wild ride to be enjoyed with the constant element of learning new things that will make you into the person you are meant to be.