A Rose By Any Other Name...

Well I have been engrossed in classes so I haven't had time to really shell out some roses but here are some that I've created lately.

Masks & Faces

As I walk through the mental museum of my life randomly taking down and dusting off the memory laden boxes, I look back and see how far I've come but also how far I still need to go to become the person I need and want to be. However with the changes that I know I will need to make, I know without a doubt that there will also be conflict.

As I stop next to the personality box I feel a little apprehensive about opening it. However, the morbid curiosity is overwhelming and I just have to take a peek. You see, I have two contradictory "personas" if you will. And sometimes one overwhelms the other.

There is the independent Cheryl that is level headed, "don't need no stinkin man cause I can do it myself" kind of woman. But on the other hand there is little girl Cheryl. The Cheryl that is scared and unsure. The Cheryl that occasionally wants to just be held and comforted by a strong man. The Cheryl that contrary to outward appearances isn't as sure of herself and abilities as it may seem. While little one may seem like one that she needs to be taken out and coddled, most of the time it's not the wisest choice. You see, don't be fooled. That inner child is quite powerful and can take a hold and drag you down if you're not careful. Like today...

But don't worry, even though the girl's out, the woman's coming back and she'll put the girl back in the box where she belongs.

...as I put the box back on the shelf and take one last look, I'm a little saddened. But as I step away and continue down the aisle I'm quickly laughing and giggling again as I sort through my "Nieces/Nephews" box.

Boy these kids are fun...

The Flowering Mind of a Crafting Novice

Well my supervisor at work and a dear friend, Teresa, taught me how to make fabric rosettes. I have to say I was pretty freaked out about it at first and a little disappointed after I finished it...initially. The center looked really rough and like something was missing. So what did I do? I added more fabric. Here's what I came up with as the final FINAL product.




I used a chocolate silk to make this one. As silk is, it was a little slippery and hard to hold and glue at the same time but I kept truckin along. I was SO excited when I finally got it done! It did take me a while of looking at it to fall in love with it but when I did, I was instantly overcome with rosette fever! As this was made at my desk, at work, over the lunch hour ( I know... I have a great boss! We were both crafting fiends during lunch....however I only made one while while Teresa hammered out two really cute ones), I thought it turned out fantastic.

Anywho, so I went home all jazzed about making it and it turning out so cute. Showed it to the mama like a preschooler with a new drawing. :) We ate supper and I immediately commandeered the coffee table in the living room (much to mom's chagrin). Feeling a little cocky I decided to use two different pieces of material to make a rosette which so happened to be blue jean and a cotton bandana print. Wasn't too impressed with it but I completed it and set it aside. Then I figured I'd go broke and work with the material that was my favorite...a muted turqouise and copper brocade. Beautiful fabric! I felt really good about this one and even said so to mom. I was exceptionally pleased by the end product.

Well I had finished my wonderful masterpiece with the brocade I turned a scowl to the bandana & jean piece that I had made. It looked too blah for me....so I added a small piece of the bandana material in the middle and finished it off with a western-ish button.

Here's how they turned out.



You can't really see the button pattern but I thought it turned out really cute. The brocade will definitely be turned into a pin while this little country flower will probably go onto a jean covered headband for my niece.

I'm so excited about being able to make something (I'm no Martha Stewart that's for sure!) that it seriously has my creative juices flowing. I have a few more things planned but you'll have to wait and see. :)

UPDATE: 285

Because I can sometimes be scatter-brained I forgot to add that I have lost 15 lbs to date. Oh yeah baby!

So Mini Goal 1: Accomplished!

Mini Goal 2: Lose 5 lbs by my Bday Jan 28th. (Would really like to set the bar high with 10 lbs but not going to stress myself into quitting this time!)

Together Again...Again

Well it has been awhile...welcome back to me. :) Boy things sure have changed here in the past year and a half. We have two new additions to our family - Trevor born in mid February and Nikki born in late October of last year. That makes numero tres for Rachael and Trevor is Beth's first born. Zip for me....which I'm quite okay with. I'll let the sisters be the baby makin bunch o'the family. Anywho, the ankle is still bothersome but more after the jump.

The new year brings the idea of hope, starting over, resolutions and lots of cold weather and snow...okay so maybe not tons of snow but just enough to be bothersome...back to the new year. So in the tradition of the new year I have made some New Year's Resolutions. Believe it or not I have three that I hope to accomplish this year.

1) To lose weight - I know typical isn't it? However, I have a couple of motivators to aid me and I think I might just do it this year! First is my ankle issue. I honestly think that my 300 lb frame (yes, even I was surprised at this) is a HUGE factor in the pain I'm feeling. So thus, for me to be mobile and have the ability to walk like a normal human being instead of limping like a gimp everywhere, this is going to have to change. My second motivator is that I'm going to be the big 3-0 next year. Yeah, I know! Could have knocked me over with a feather too. I'm still trying to find where the 20s went. HA! Anywho, I've always known that the older you get the harder it is to lose weight. I don't want my 30s to be like my 20s. I want to be that girl who isn't afraid to be a little flirty with the guy at the next table. So instead of the Roarin 20s...here's a toast to the Roarin 30s!

2) To dress a little more sassy - Not to be confused with more sexy. I think you can dress a little more sassy and still be sexy. There are after all two different types of sexy - you've got your mysterious sexy and your local hoochie mama sexy. I definitely want to be the mysterious sexy. :) Especially when I'm going to be losing weight and feelin all sassy myself.

3) To be a little more assertive - This one I think may be my hardest one. I have a tendency to "go with the flow". I feel a change is needed in expressing my opinions, needs and desires. I have recognized (more so lately) some people tend to use me as a human doormat and disregard me completely. I have realized that I and my opinions and thoughts are worth something and so my expressing of them may not be a turn around overnight but i can assure you that I will improve.

So with that said let me introduce to you the new Cheryl...less of her but more sassy and opinionated. :) Here's to a great year of weight loss and finding myself! Cheers!

More Than Enough

Life can be a combination of a rollercoaster, merry-go-round, and jungle gym all combined. I don't know how many times in the past few weeks that I have really questioned why I'm even here. I know that God will never allow things to become too burdensome that you can't handle it. However, I feel that lately I've been pushed to the brink and have been nudged even farther. I'm really struggling with this one. Everytime I think that things are starting to completely straighten out, something comes along to tangle it all back up again. Divorce, layoffs, broken bones, sickness and then the latest situation (I'm not comfortable just sharing this one) - I'm just like "God...why?". But I have to say that he did answer a prayer in this latest situation so Praise God for that!

Music has always been my outlet for anything. Anger, happiness, sorrow, etc. I think God speaks to me through songs that just "happen" to be playing. It just amazes me to know that God can send just what you need.
For instance this morning I was listening along (feeling sorry for myself too :-) ) and along came a song that our choir used to sing...More Than Enough (lyrics) by The Brooklyn Tablernacle Choir.

"...Jehovah Jireh, my provider, You're more than enough for me...Jehovah Shamma, You are with me and You supply all of my needs."

God you are my provider and will supply all my needs. Thank you for your presence and for who you are. You ARE More Than Enough for me.

Steady As She Goes

Well it will be six weeks come Tuesday. I'm going in to the doctor's to see how everything is progressing. I will be in my cast and on crutches until the beginning of December. As of right now, I'm trying to get movement back into my foot by moving it in circles and overall just trying to flex the muscles back into moving.

I would have to say that this accident has quite possibly been a life changing experience. Before I absolutely hated getting up and exercising unless it was horseback riding or swimming or something like that. Now that I've had restricted movement, I'm ready to just...move. I have no doubt that when I'm able to return to full movement that I won't be able to stop. :-)

But seriously, you really don't know what you are missing when you loose the use of your leg. You have to have help getting a glass of water. You can't really take a bath on your own, much less a shower. But the thing you really have to watch out for are the mats in restuarants. If you step on them wrong, your feet are out from underneath you. Puddles are another one.

Anywho, for the most part, it doesn't hurt...only swells. It's just there. I'm not as frusterated with it as I was before. Don't get me wrong, I have moments but for the most part I've accepted that this will be this way until December at least.

I'm trying to incorporate things back into my life gradually at times and rapidly other times. I've returned to driving after my hiatus, now sleep in my own bed (I had stairs that I had to conquer) and can for the most part dress myself (do you know how hard it is to get pants over a cast?). Mom gets frusterated with me at times because I'm always trying to do for myself more and more. I don't think that she understands that it's not that I don't/won't depend on her; it's just that I'm get back to where I was. I'm not a martyr, just someone who wants her independance back.